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Offline Ex-Fedupandstressed  
#1 Posted : Thursday, February 6, 2014 12:24:09 AM(UTC)
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It's the tittle of a song which i take to ask u... have u made your dreams real? Does your life look like you imagined?... 
I ask it because in my case it can't be more different... and some times i feel that i've wasted my time trying to get the life that i imagined or dreamt n i didn't enjoy or live my real life... so i'm the result of my wrong choice...
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Offline joy  
#2 Posted : Thursday, February 6, 2014 6:51:42 AM(UTC)
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Then can't you make a choice to live and enjoy your life rather than run after your dreams? 
Offline Ex-Fedupandstressed  
#3 Posted : Thursday, February 6, 2014 4:14:23 PM(UTC)
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joy wrote:
Then can't you make a choice to live and enjoy your life rather than run after your dreams? 

But my dreams were very normal... I say "dreams" but it were really the things that I imagined when I was a children. I used to think in who would I be when I was an adult...
I imagined a very normal life... but my life now is normal, but very different... I thought: "I'll be a teacher, and I will have my own home, and I will have a partner and I will have a couple of children...

But I haven't any of them... I have passed my time since I graduated trying to get a job like teacher in my community... this will be my 4th try... and I can say that I have less possibilities than never bercause I don't feel well... I don't trust myself... I'm every time less capeable to memorize or to concentrate... look at now, I sould be studying the Middle Age in Spain and here I am... writing you my paranoia... And all the time that I have passed trying to get this goal I left other things by a side... I really don't know what am I going to do when July pass and I fail once more... because I'm 37 years old and I can't go on trying something which get out of my hands... I have to change radical all my choices... and I feel that I made it wrong...
Offline Ex-Fedupandstressed  
#4 Posted : Friday, February 7, 2014 2:11:38 AM(UTC)
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Jus came to tell u that I feel better... I was this morning "fed up and depressed"...
Offline joy  
#5 Posted : Friday, February 7, 2014 6:48:37 AM(UTC)
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Okay, fu&s. It's good to know that you're feeling a bit better now. 

It sounds to me like you're under a lot of pressure and stress at the moment with your studies and exams looming and these can intensify and magnify any anxieties you may have about other things in your life. It's really important to take time to rest when studying too to allow the brain time to process and absorb information. Coming here might help but taking a walk, breathing fresh air, listening to music, watching a film or tv, etc, etc, even just for short periods in between studying can really help to improve memory and concentration, even though that might not make sense. Spend some time with friends or family if you can and if you can't, spend some time with yourself but not in isolation. Go somewhere where there are other people that you can talk to. Even if it's only shopping, say, and all you say is "Can I have a newspaper please". Do something or find something which makes you laugh or happy. Every day. You need to do something to balance out the stress of the studying. 

You know, stress does weird things to our health. I spent 5 years studying (and I had to pay for the studies so I was working too) and my life was on hold practically. My eyelid used to flutter involuntarily and I had a sharp pain under my left breast now and then and sometimes my heart would flutter and I was convinced I'd developed some kind of neurological disease but it was stress. Please go and speak with your doctor if you think things might be getting out of hand. Even just talking to your doctor anyway might be a good idea. Not necessarily for medication, but so they can give you a health check and make sure everything is ok. 

As for the other things...don't be so hard on yourself. Life has a way of working out for all of us. And there's more than one blueprint for life anyway. Just think: you could be in a marriage with children and teaching but bored and unfulfilled and wondering what would have happened if you hadn't made those choices. At least you don't have a marriage and children to tie you down at this point in your life. 

Just felt like I had to say something to you even though I may not have understood your situation correctly. 


Offline sami  
#6 Posted : Friday, February 7, 2014 8:58:32 AM(UTC)
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Hi,
I hadn't stopped by this thread yet. I really like what you told her Joy. I can identify with what you go through as well F&S. I'm in a similar position. I used to be scared as well, but now I am learning to imagine my future as something bright.
The one thing that has made a big difference for me is going to a meditation group. I used to have a lot of negative feelings about myself and zero hope about the future. I was very scared, that things wouldn't go as I planned , once more. So I went to a mediation group and we meditated and then we discussed  our experiences and by talking to these people I learned that all these negative ideas were not real. Your thoughts don't equal reality, they are just idea in your mind. Do you see what I'm saying?  Whenever you catch yourself having negative thoughts just let them pass by and move on with your goals because you know it's only your mind fabricating it.It's only fear. Fear fabricates those thoughts and it gets out of control but you are more than your thoughts, aren't you?
And another thing, I had problems finding work too,  I got so mad, you know what I said to myself: "If nobody hires me I'm gonna hire myself!" And that's what I did and that's what I do. I'm not gonna wait for somebody to give me a job I'm gonna hire myself. This is the attitude. And you know, in Spain, it's all fucked up right now, so don't let them ruin your happiness . They can shove their teaching job. If you want to teach, then just teach. You will find students.
Offline sami  
#7 Posted : Friday, February 7, 2014 9:10:59 AM(UTC)
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Oh, and yes, I have dreams for plans 
I had to rescue them from the gutter, but I still could find them in there 
Offline sami  
#8 Posted : Friday, February 7, 2014 10:43:16 AM(UTC)
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After I wrote this I went and had dinner and started feeling self-conscious. I imagined someone coming here and reading this and putting me down before when this happened I would go aback and delete the message but now I know it's just a thought, so I'm going to let it pass ..
It's difficult sometimes but I guess it's like everything, it requires practice .
Offline Ex-Fedupandstressed  
#9 Posted : Friday, February 7, 2014 9:10:04 PM(UTC)
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Oh! Thank you very much for the support! I really liked all the things you wrote to cheer me up!

Joy! That's true, I might have to take a break when I feel in this mood... I did yesterday! And I didn't read still your message! But I felt very well!
And Sami, I like your point of view!

Thank you both! :* Kisses!
Offline sami  
#10 Posted : Saturday, February 8, 2014 1:36:46 AM(UTC)
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I'm so glad to hear that !!! 
We must continue , life is a gift, and things will be alright 
Offline joy  
#11 Posted : Saturday, February 8, 2014 5:07:19 AM(UTC)
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Good to hear you're feeling brighter fu&s! 
Offline sami  
#12 Posted : Wednesday, February 12, 2014 1:30:53 AM(UTC)
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We poured our hearts out and I'm sure she didn't even read it with care or attention but I don't regret because perhaps somebody else that comes here after her can benefit from reading this messages. Life is so hard for everybody nowadays !
Offline joy  
#13 Posted : Wednesday, February 12, 2014 4:29:40 AM(UTC)
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ffs, sami. What were you expecting?







Offline Ex-Fedupandstressed  
#14 Posted : Wednesday, February 12, 2014 4:38:08 PM(UTC)
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I think that  if we don't pay attention to the question of success we can be very happy. I mean... our society push us to believe that if you don't get a goal that you were following, you finally believe that you failed. But life has a lot of aspects; love, family, friends...
I have to admit that I haven't got any of my goals... but it doesn't mean that I have to think that I'm unhappy... or my life is a shit. Of course, maybe I could be married and with two or three children and being unhappy because I would think that I left to do other things in its place...
I would like to work in something that I like, but if I don't get it... work is only an aspect on the whole life...
Offline Ex-Fedupandstressed  
#15 Posted : Wednesday, February 12, 2014 4:58:31 PM(UTC)
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sami wrote:
We poured our hearts out and I'm sure she didn't even read it with care or attention but I don't regret because perhaps somebody else that comes here after her can benefit from reading this messages. Life is so hard for everybody nowadays !

Sami i read it with care... But if you feel that I didn't pay to you enough attention I just apologize! I think that we have to effort in make happy the people around us!
I'm very overwhelmed these days, and sometimes I forget to stop and dedicate a time to the people...

I don't know how is your life, but my point of view is similar to yours... this is because I told u. I think we have to see the postive side of everything, and sometimes we think that our life would have been better in other way... but who knows! Our life is our everyday experience... this is the only one that we have... so this is the place where we have to look for happyness and inside development. 
I wish being a teacher... and possibily i will have to give it up then of the summer, because I tried it 4 times and I didn't get it, and I can't spend more years of my life following something which goes like the smoke...
I will have to update, and I admit I don't know what can I do... but just as I said before... it is only an aspect of the whole life... look at your daily routine and I'm sure you was happy yesterday more times than bein unhappy... 
Happiness comes to us in little pieces I think!

Kisses, I gotta go... I really think that you are a very nice person Sami... I like that you be so emotional!
Offline sami  
#16 Posted : Thursday, February 13, 2014 2:10:09 AM(UTC)
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Fedupandstressed ,
Thank you for letting me know and apologies if I thought badly. I didn't think you would come back.
Sometimes it's very difficult to spend time reading and making a good response . Listening to other ppl is not easy and it takes an effort , but if somebody is really giving you something private to cheer you up, you can say something that shows you have not only read but thought about it.
That's the online etiquette I believe.
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